Calamitus Ink

Angel Story

2009-11-06T18:01:00.001-08:00

It was a beautiful day for a stroll, she decided, not on the high peaks and clouds above the ground that she watched over, but instead on the ground that she guarded. She walked to the trees, passing their tips as she lowered herself to the roots that emerged from the trunk and sunk down deep into the brown earth, the grass beneath her feet becoming greener with each step.
The animals around the woods did not fret over her presence, instead of fleeing into the thistle bushes and deeper into the trees, the deer remained eating their plants and the birds continued to peck the ground for sustenance in the form of worms and mites. She walked by the animals with her hands reaching out, gently petting the fawn, and briefly providing a perch for a young bird.
Her white robes blew in the gentle wind, as the young deer raised its head to her, chewing contently as she passed, the bird took to the trees as her chicks began to peep, and she smiled knowing they would soon be full on the bounty their mother gathered.
Tree branches gently swayed in the breeze when she neared them, the winds sending them back slightly to allow her safe passage without so much trouble as to lift a finger.
Their leaves were a deep and dark green, thick on the branches they blocked most of the light from above, however it still found a way to illuminate the woods as she walked deeper into them, the beams growing stronger through the small breaks in the foliage, providing her with the light she needed to see all the animals and plants that her gods had to offer her.
She felt inclined to go west, so she did, moving with a sluggish pace, the pace of a watcher of nature, she travelled until she stepped over a small brook, its water bumbling along over rocks and sticks. It was only an inch or so deep by a foot wide, but the water was flowing quite well, she was tempted to take a drink from it but decided against it, instead she pressed forward, for through the trees there was a majestic mountain, one she reigned over, standing firm and proud in the distance.
The pitter patter of her feet over the gruod became rushed as her pace nearly doubled, although it was still very slow, she was moving somewhat faster in hopes of seeing the full bounty that the break in the woods had to offer.
When she reached the clearing, she paused and stared at the rock formation, built up by her gods to form the most perfect of all mountains, from the lush green surrounding its base to the white tip at the top, it was a perfect triangle, aside from some jagged edges, and she smiled at the view, pleased with it.
A voice in the distance was a buzzing in her ear, one of the creations of this world simply off in the woods being loud and obnoxious. She took a deep breath and looked at the mountain, her smile still strong and her awe continuing.
However, the buzzing became persistant, causing her to take her eyes off the mountain briefly to study the area that surrounded her. There was trees behind her, and in front of her was a fall of several hundred feet into the valley below. Her eyes sought the soul that was calling, but could not see it in the woods behind her, so she turned forward and looked along the cliffs edge.
In the distance, although not very far, was a man hanging onto the edge. She could not see his face very well but felt as though he was in a great amount of pain. How could he be in pain when he was surrounded by this beauty?
She decided to continue viewing the mountain, albeit while moving towards the man on the edge. She barely took her eyes off of the rock, its beautiful white hat to its darling green shoes, her pace was slow and steady, as it had been earlier, and she finally heard the man’s voice over the distant buzzing.
“HELP!” he was no doubt crying, but to her it was a gentle word, gentle but filled with some anxiety.
Help. Perhaps she could find it in her heart to help him, it would be another soul to share this bounty with, she decided as she walked on. When she came closer, she waved, her hand open and her arm forming a L, her hand waved from side to side like the branches that she walked by, moving slowly but carefully.
Dirt covered his hands, his fingers red under the strain of his weight, his arms sweating, a deep shade of red with a dusting of soil, no doubt falling on him as his finger’s grip slowly slipped more and more.
She crouched down and smiled at him, her angelic face no doubt making his day better simply with her grin.
“You need help?”
“YES!” he cried out.
Her head tilted slightly, and her smile slowly faded.
“What?”
“HELP! PLEASE!” he replied.
“Be nice about it, you disturbed my serine moment with your cries.”
His look of bewilderment turned into one of confusion and fear.
“Yes, please. I fear for my life, I have been here some time and am sure that I will fall!” his voice was strained, as if it was restraining from yelling at her.
Her hand hovered over his and her eyes locked his, he reached for her hand, his savior, when it pulled up, causing his hand to fall, nearly making him lose his grip, but he found it, and his eyes grew wider, his face beet red with rage.
“You are not a good man,” she began, “you seem like a bad man. Why are you here in this mess?”
“I’m here because I slipped, I was looking over the edge and I fell, but I caught myself with my hands, please help me up.” He said eagerly. “Please?”
Her hand was suspended in air, the tips of her feet touching the same ground that his finger tips dug through.
“Why should I save you?”
“I am a good man! I just slipped!”
She closed her eyes, her hand tantalizingly close to his grasp, or even her ankle, perhaps she would be forced to help if he grabbed her.
“Touch me and you will fall to your death,” she said, her eyes staring straight ahead, unwilling to even acknowledge the hanging man.
“What?”
“You were thinking of grabbing me, which would kill not only you, but me as well. You are willing to give my life in a meager attempt to save your own. Now, I think I should be going,” she said as she stood up and looked as though she was ready to walk away.
“Please, I have a child and a wife, they need me.”
She paused, then turned back to him.
“Does having a child that you sired by accident and a woman you claim is yoru wife, but it not being in the eyes of the church or the gods, mean you deserve saving? You wish to kill me to try to save you, then feign caring for the wife and child you have left behind,” she walked back to the ledge and looked at him, frowning, “drinking your nights away and being with other women, then you claim that you have your wife and child at home needing you.”
He looked lost for words, as well as a sturdy grip.
“Save me, I will change my ways, I swear it, please!” he cried, spit flying from his mouth, his urgency was becoming greater, the strain of his body no doubt pulling more and more on his weakening hands.
She knelt down, which he took as a good sign, it would provide her with more stability to pull him up, but after looking at her face he lost some of the hope. She was lost in thought, not in thought of how to save his life.
Moments stretched to what seemed like hours, his fingers felt weary and the release would be relief, until the fear of his demise would set in, causing him to panic. He clutched the edge even harder, more determined to not fall.
“If I help you and you change your ways, I will do a great thing, I will have saved the life of a man who became better in his life and bettered those around him. However, if you merely put on a farce and revert to your old ways after only a few days of being good, I will be helping you hurt the people who need you, such as the child and wife you claim.”
“But…”
“I am not done. But if you are good for years, then turn bad, are you breaking your promise to me? And what is done to punish you? As I will have saved your life, would it be fair for me to have the right at any time to take your life away?”
He stared at her over the edge, he wanted to say no but he could not speak, since she began to question him again.
“Will you truly be good, or merely better than you are?”
“Truly good!”
“Of course you would say that, you are dangling from a cliff, you will pick the thing you believe I want to hear. But I want the truth, sir, not a fabrication for my affections. I know, here is part of the deal, I save your life and you are good, I will bless you for what remains of your life, however if you become evil again, I will be able to sent you to the netherworld, does that sound fair?”
“YES!” he cried, his small finger felt as though it were ready to fall off.
“What can you promise me, under the understanding that if you revert to your old ways you are to come back here and hang from this cliff until your grip leaves you?
“That I will be good, I swear on my life that I will be a better man!”
“In whose eyes?”
“Your eyes!”
She smiled and reached down for him, their agreement in place, and he grabbed her hand, and he looked up at her with a hope for a new life, a new chance.
But his grip failed him at this moment, and the dirt on his fingers could not let her hold him tightly, and his body fell to its demise as his spirit fell with him, going down into the earth and into the netherworld.
She shook her head, saddened that he had died because of his weak and dirty hand, and she set off back to the heavens where he descended, intent on keeping the memories of the mountains and trees the foremost thoughts in her mind. She could mourn him, but why mourn what he could have been, when what he was was not something to mourn?

Update

2009-11-06T17:57:00.001-08:00

I'm doing NaNoWriMo.
I'm up to page 70.
Fun!

Money down on this

2009-05-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I'm doing a page count, but I do not think I have nearly the amount of pages I expected to have by this junction of the calendar.
Sigh.
But, my hopes are high that I'll map out the rest of the book to the best of my ability and work from there. Its not an ideal idea, but few ideas are ideal. I will have the outline done by Tuesday, and 15 pages written by Saturday. Minimum.
To sweeten the pot I'll have the two flash fiction stories tweaked and fixed up for submission while I try to peddle 'godless' to whomever is willing to look at it.
Ah, perhaps my dreams of being 23 have yet to be reached (they will not be reached, nor will my weight goal be met) but I will indeed have at least made progress so I can spend the day of my birth in my new apartment (2 months then I move again) and rejoicing in the works I have completed.
Cough. Work, that is to say.

Ahhh Progress

2009-05-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

I've been looking into a few other places to submit 'Fallen' which as we know is going to be completely editted and up for my final revisions by my birthday (I'm still a bit peeved that it wasnt done when I originally expected since the deadline had been my birthday to have it completely completed). Once I've given it the once over for the 3rd or 4th or 5th time, I'll be able to submit it to a few of the places.
Meanwhile I'm working hard on BOTH, trying to get into a flow so that I can have the roughest draft completed, also by my birthday.
Dream Tube and several other stories have taken to the backburner, but are far from out of my mind. I've been itching to work on 'Tube' again in the near future and polishing up some of my space stories would be very nice.
Keep in mind I'm also doing some work on flash fiction while debating setting up a website for my writing and other authors, but of course its a long way off. Give it some time, then who knows.

Sigh

2009-05-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

The glory that is my writing has stumbled, with only about 5 pages (that's generous mind you) being written since my last post.
Life tends to get in the way of my writing, making me want to get a small studio apartment without Internet so I can sit and write in peace.
I have a vivid image of the room (I'm going to share it with you now because I've done a bit of writing tonight already). A folded down futon with a white sheet and black comforter against a white wall, a pressed wood table with debris strewed about and my TV on the TV table I bought from my brother ages ago. I'm writing like a fiend on the futon, the light from the kitchen is on revealing a few dishes in the drainer and another light coming from the door.
I want to write so much other stuff so it makes it hard to focus on Battle, but this is my choice.
I just really want to work in the conversation:
"How do you get someone to look up to you?" asked the young man.
"Knock them down," he said as he threw his cigarette butt to the ground, disappearing through the steam rising up from the sewer like a cliche from a black and white movie.
In fact I think I will write something, check my tumblr for one such story!

Ahhhh the dance of death

2009-05-05T17:07:00.001-07:00

In an effort to feel less shitty about my existence I am pushing myself to write between 3-5 pages a day until my 23 annual celebration of the day that I came into this world.
I wrote 3 today, and if I stick with my plan, I will have well over the 97 pages I require to complete the 1st draft of "Battle of the Heavens"
If I do not stick to this, which I no doubt will falter, I will fail, once more.
It is common for writers (at least the ones I associate with, because I know them) to put off writing with menial tasks or adventures in an effort to avoid the fact they do not have the complete story done. Thats what I'm doing at least.
'Battle' is, by all means, finished. In my mind. All the crazy moments have been plotted out on scraps of paper from years ago, the tidbits of information stored away in my massive brain (mostly filled with WoW info or facts from books I read in the 7th grade) will soon be put on the page.
I'm also considering posting some flash fiction (short, nay, VERY short stories) on this blog, since my other blog is totally going off the charts with hits from me looking to see if someone looked at it.
I'm working on a few other stories as well, but the main focus this month, will be 'Battle'. 3-5 pages a day. On 'Battle'.
Any other work will be recorded as a "good work!" for me, but the focus has to be Battle.
Let see how well I do. Follow my tumblr for daily (semi) updates on progress. I have a twitter too, but I never do anything on it since I despise things until they have become completely popular then start to decline in popularity.

Destroying the world one page at a time

2009-04-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

Can writing be destructive? Can the words and ideas of one help to ruin the world? Yes.
Writing can be vicious, even dangerous for some. Hate and words that find their way from brains to finger tips to the page can be some of the most invasive and destructive writing of the soul, which is not a good thing.
I do not write very hateful things. I write self loathing characters and the struggles they face.
I do not write about killing people for glory, unless it is the bad guy. Even then, he is human.
We are all human, but the problem is we all have a bit of hate.
Even Flanders did, remember?
I dont know why I felt compelled to write this. I think because my mind has been a negative place the last few days and I'm not writing very much, if at all. Its not healthy for me to go this long without writing, so I'm going to go do that.
But it will only be the healthy writing.
On a side note I'm trying my hand at flash fiction, see if I cant get that down to a science.

Monetize

2009-04-18T13:43:00.000-07:00

"The life of a author is made much easier with real work."

I saw a little tab up top of my blog on this fine day, clicked it and realized I could be making money doing what I do now.
To be fair, I do other jobs than write, since writing isnt really a job because I collect no wages from it, other than pride in that I've got something all wrote up!
Obviously this is not going to make me a lot of money, since, to be fair you get tiny fractions of pennies for each click/view etc.
Or do I keep pounding my head against the wall while trying to write something different to fit the needs of the various websites that I'm submitting to, or do I write my own stuff, post it here and collect the money from the ad revenue from the traffic I get, that does not exsist?

What do you think loyal reader, are you ready to see me post real work but have ads to sift through, or do you want to wait for me to write something glorious and hold it in your hand in print?

1 Year

2009-04-14T06:32:00.001-07:00

Ive been blogging for over a year on this thing, and realized just how awesome doing something for a year can be.
Dream Tube has hit a wall, so to speak, because I'm writing other stories about other things and unable to get my mind in the right flow for it.
A few things I've learned about my self this last year (limited to writing) include:
1. A cat is required to become an author, they inspire and are wonderful lap warmers and occasionally scratch you to keep you in check.
2. Women can be the most inspiring things, be it their bodies or their minds. A muse can take any form, but mine all seem to take the shape of a woman.
3. Muses are fickle, fickle people. They run off when you are just getting to the good stuff half the time.
4. I have become a better writer since my first blog.
5. I have not completed a book in over a year. I'm working to finish one by my birthday.
6. In the bedroom, I'm a gentleman, the ladies come before me. That is to say, splicing in a little innuendo in works is always a good time. ALWAYS.

I didnt learn much it seems, I hope that in another years time however I do and hopefully will get something published by then.

Poetry

2009-03-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

I suck at poetry, despite being a literary student in my own right, I know very little about poetry and my opinion on it counts as much as a drunk skwerl. At least thats one persons opinion.
But I like poetry. I like the images it can conjure, the emotions it can pull up from the simple mixture of words and ideas. I've even tried my hand at some the last few weeks, most not appropriate to print here (not erotic, just personal stuff that my one reader really doesnt want to hear about).
So, poetry is a weak spot in my writing ability. Fair enough. Well, conventional poetry is a weak spot.
My fighting scenes I've been told are like reading poetry, they are my strongest points throughout most stories. This of course is coming from the same person who berates me for saying that their poem sounds nice. They are a fickle person.
That idea got me thinking (no, not about how jerky it is to talk down to someone who is trying to be helpful) about how various writing styles can change mid work. My good friend who never updates his blog and therefore doesnt deserve a link, starts every section off with a story inside the story, its all in poem form. What I mean to say is that there are so many authors who put poems and song lyrics in their works that is it possible for someone to write fictional works with poetry injected directly on the page? Mix it in with the regular writing (I wrote righting because thats just how cool I am)?
Yes. Yes you can.

Retreating from the lies

2009-03-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

"A lie can stop the world or keep it spinning, young man, there is nothing more wonderful and more dangerous than a lie."
-Anlor (from Battle of the Heavens)
I was going to write about reincarnation, but I decided to keep my ongoing progress with Godless, so I thought I'd expand on it a bit my self.
I wrote it because I was lost, much like Cahn after the invasion, and although he bounces back he knows he did wrong during it and is only going to hurt himself more.
The complexity of the situation makes me want to write dozens of short stories on the subject of the Godless lands, how they fall and crumble and why.
The glorious why.
I'm getting to love short stories, and plan on writing a series of shorts for the Godless lands, as well as the other continents of the world I've created. Giving them a backstory before Vaughn steps foot of them (Pre-Fallen, of course) gives the towns and people a history that some of those in Fallen and Battle and the prequels did not get, something I should consider changing.

Defective Characters

2009-03-11T18:33:00.000-07:00

I have a simple motto for making a character-they have to be flawed. Either in the minds of the reader, the people around them, or themselves.
In ‘Tube’ one of the main characters despises the technology she works with, while everyone around her sees nothing wrong with it, and thinks shes crazy for hating it. Shes fun to write for, because the advances of techonology are something she hates, she understands their workings, but prefers old fashioned ways of communication and interaction, something she discusses when she finally reaches her boiling point on dates or social events, something that people cannot understand.
Vaughn, well, hes just all sort of crazy in his own way. Like Sarant and the others in Fallen/BOTH.
Another favorite defective character is named Cal, which is my generic starting name for anyone really, and stars in my “Dreams” story (lots of dreams in this writers mind?) and lives alone killing invaders at night while he sleeps in the day and eats deli meat and drinks while watching the news from 24 hour news stations. He sees nothing wrong with staying where he is, when it clearly is a bad idea. He loves the things hes stolen, earned or found. Little trophies that he has that no one else has.
My favorite? Goe. You see his downfall in the book, not quite his birth and death, but you see him evolve on the page from a bright eyed warrior to a shaking, bitter mess, succumbing to his own weaknesses to try to save the things he loved. Goe is defective, renouncing acts then partaking in them heavily once his spirit is broken, his ideals and beliefs shattered. Is he defective? Only in his own eyes.
He remains strong for so long, taking the low blows from those around him, suffering humiliation but showing great restraint towards those who mock him. He is sane, able to see situations for what they are worth. He reminds me so much of Vaughn at the end of Fallen, able to see so much to save, only to fall short at the last moment.
But I’ve been thinking of keeping Goe around (not really, I know his destiny and have written it and am pleased with it very much) but his past plays a bit part of his future, and the choices he makes are defective when he reaches his end.
Who is your favorite defective character? Why?
(If your favorite character is me, har har)

Use that emotion

2009-03-02T21:04:00.000-08:00

I've been kind of on a roller coaster of emotions the last couple weeks. Its been really, REALLY upsetting. The only thing that hasnt suffered (other than my exercise) is my writing.
I'm using the feelings I have, putting them to good use. Tonight, after just feeling like screaming at the world, I wrote the epilogue to Battle of the Heavens. I have all the major plot points done now, so I am moving towards getting it done.
Vaughn, as I know (I've decided that I'm the only one reading this poorly written piece of shit), is an alter ego of myself, as most writers protagonists are. In the final scene he is a broken man, just a month after ending the battle.
How did he go from his highest high to his lowest low?
I just had to look to my real life for the inspiration. His actions before the battle helped to drag him down, and his actions in the next series of novellas are all in his efforts to free himself of the burden of thought, emotion.
In Dream Tube, I'm using certain feelings for the various things that occur, and Cal Birch, antihero private eye, I write when I'm in the mood to crack skulls, and he does just that.
Emotions can sometimes be the best muse.
I encourage you to harness the emotions, show them just to yourself if you have to, and write about it. Write the feelings, the anger or sorrow. Emotions can sometimes be the most powerful writing tool, and it is always best to use them as often as you can, if the moment fits.
I just realized this is like, post 75. 25 more til 100. I hope to have one on godless up in just a few days, but we will see.
Like everything else I've written, this seems just to be for my eyes.

Saved by a cat scratch

2009-02-25T20:37:00.000-08:00

We've all had it, luckily for me my inspiration comes from thousands of resources each and every day. Be it a Druid winking at me as he walks into my place of business or a darling child sorting through the little pile of stickers I present, I'm able to use that in my ideas.
Take today for example. While working out (something I've been trying to do more frequently because I want to feel pretty) I got up and opened my door to let my cat in to hang out with me. He sat and looked up at me, then looked passed my feet
then up to me again. He turned around promptly and walked into the living room as if I had just uttered a discouraging word.
Being a cat he does this almost daily, sometimes four to five times, but today for some reason it clicked with my imagination. Not the act of the cat, but it sent my mind into a creative whirlwind about why he turned away and what could have possessed him to do so (in reality he just wanted food which I did not have readily available).
So I set off (after working out and washing away the stank) I wrote up some ideas that came from it, just scenes, but something that needed to be down on the paper either way.
It was nice. I hope that I'm able to put it to use soon, as I had not been working very hard on 'Tubes' until this came along.
(To be fair I had numerous ideas earlier in the day as well, and I DID forget the thing my cat inspired me to write, but recalled the thing from earlier in the day. But I'm giving Mr Grr credit, because he is the inspiration for Mr Bonkers in the story)

Life and Times of a Failure

2009-02-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

I've been struck upside the head by the depressed bug, and in the state of bummer I've uncovered the next great American novel, or at least part of it. I'm not going into details, I've had people threaten (in quite a serious tone) that they were going to steal my work.
The writing has gone very well, the story is progressing well and I'm working to develop it. I'm going to bounce some ideas off of my fiction readers soon to get an opinion on it.
I'll keep you posted, all one of you, so you can be all like "awesome"

Failed Attempts to Fly

2009-02-09T20:59:00.000-08:00

Authors note-
This is a break from the normal blog and an in depth look at the author and his pursuing of his dream

“Fight Gravity” scrawled in ‘sharpie’ on the inside of a comic book.
I had seen those words before, heard them, kept them in my mind from the moment they entered my ears until I saw the words written out again.
“Fight Gravity”
What does it mean? How does one fight gravity? Defy it, even? How can you defeat the force that keeps you on your feet, stops you from jumping over mountains and flying?
You can’t defeat gravity, if you could, our nation’s airlines would be devastated for obvious reasons. Everyone would have a Superman cape and do try to look cool while soaring.
You can’t defeat gravity, but you can fight it. You can fight it by jumping for the ball, stretching out to tip it towards a team mate. Fight it by hitting the ball high in the air.
Fight it by going against the norm.
I say the norm because that’s how I’ve felt the last few years. I have a dream, and while I work at it its been hard. I dropped out of college with the mantra of “I’ll sign up again next semester”, a mantra that repeated itself until last year when even I didn’t believe myself anymore.
Its not ideal, dropping out while pursuing your dreams of being a writer, there is a great deal of information to learn in college, and bravo to those who went and stuck with it to earn a degree, the workforce is better off for it.
College just was not for me. I’m not against learning, I love to absorb new knowledge and put it to use, but my semesters of education at a higher level left me desiring something more, something I noticed when I signed up for courses in music production and a business course, just to get my 12 credits. I dropped both of the courses since they had nothing to do with my dreams and set off on my journey to rebel against the norm.
I wanted to study business, but the courses were always full and I couldn’t get into one without an enormous amount of effort. Everyone had an opinion, from people at work to family, pushing me to go back and learn, take the courses you don’t want so you can get a degree.
They were my gravity, trying to push me down into their world. I respected it, they were doing what they felt was best for me, but I pushed back, jumping over them, falling flat on my face.
My first attempt to fly, to fight gravity, failed miserably. I became depressed, dependant on a video game, burned through my money with disregard.
My second attempt to fly came in the form of a sent manuscript, tied to it the inspiration that I was going to get published. Needless to say the crash had been expected by my logical mind, and the gravity that brought me back down was a poorly photocopied rejection letter that sits somewhere in my room. I’ve been meaning to get that thing framed.
There have been many other attempts to soar, each one of them starting and ending with my misery.
I don’t know what makes this time different. Maybe its because I’m only depending on me, or at least trying to depend just on me. As luck would have it, each time I’ve been sinking down I’ve felt a hand push me back up before I fall too low.
I feel I’ve fought gravity by skipping college and going the route of self education and study, although it seems like the learning has just started the last two months or so.
The book caught my eye a day ago and I decided to write this blog post.

To Andrew-
Fight Gravity!
Jef Mallet (he created Frazz, which is an awesome comic. I suggest you buy the books immediately)

Right now I feel that gravity has been winning against my attempts to fly, but each day that goes by feels more and more like I’m getting just a little higher off the ground.

*This post is unedited, pure, simple. The views expressed are the writers alone; do not fight gravity via jumping off a cliff or from any mountain, fjord, or natural or man made object that is above the ground. The writer is not responsible for misinterpretation of the words he lives by.

That sinking feeling

2009-02-03T16:32:00.001-08:00

Ah, 'Godless' my first real attempt at a short story. Keep in mind, it is rather short, only about 10 pages long, and my friend enjoyed it, however now I'm thinking that mayhaps he wasnt the best judge?
Who is?
Me.
I did a quick glance of the story and determined that its not up to par with how it should be, theres gapping holes in the story and flaws every few pages.
Just looking back, its been about a month since I looked at the story, so its kind of nice being able to look at it without it being so fresh in my mind and being able to see the problems that before eluded me.
I should have a new version set up in only a matter of days, who knows, maybe I'll get cracking tonight.
But it is a little worrisome that some of the most simple things that I should have put in from the get-go, are not in this story. But, that feeling fades away as I fix it and review other works and smile at them.
Oh, and it goes away when I stop thinking.

Conversation in my head.

2009-02-02T09:26:00.000-08:00

I've got a good idea for a story, but it seems to be a bit, well, shaky. It actually is a combonation of one story I started, and another story I wanted to write.
But thats the problem.
I dont remember the true intent of the first story, about a man surrounded by electronic possibilities but chooses instead to read and write, all the while working at a menial job, whereas the second is a story about a young man who gets his dream job only to discover the corruption and horrors behind the facilities closed doors.
Now, I could easily mix the two together in a way that shames my first attempt, and am considering doing so.
But, how can I convince myself? Easy, ask me!
Me: Want to rework the story? Make it better?
Me: FINE, Me, you jerk.
Me: Who you calling a jerk?

I 'think out loud' as my brother calls it, but in reality i just converse with myself, because I find me interesting. I debate ENDLESSLY inside my noodle about how the story should go, why I'm not writing right now (literally, why am I updating a blog that no one reads instead of writing on BotH or working on a short mystery story?).
And, for this moment, I cant justify writing in this blog for another few minutes, toying with my ideas for my one reader, who has been rather absent, to peruse.
Sorry loyal one, there will be updates, but just not today. Other than this.

The curious case of my poor filing system, and a wager concerning 'Battle'

2009-01-29T21:12:00.002-08:00

Quick weekend update concerning my plans-
I’m going to be rather blunt with this blog-I’m shitty at keeping my files in order. Like, just beyond bad.
My filing system involves me typing something less than a page, pressing save, then abandon and leave in the ‘my documents’ folder, only to rediscover months later and say “when did I write this, and why did I rewrite it in another document?”, then I proceed to ingest large quantities of chips and dip. It’s a flawed system, but damn it, it works.
Or did.
My goal this weekend, aside from getting 10 pages of ‘Battle’ done, will be to sort my files on BOTH computers (and find that elusive flashdrive) and then backup the works via gmail.

Now, a bigger task will be tackling ‘Battle’ in all its glory. Part of me is constantly chomping on the bit to get to work on it, to form it and take this massive epic to the next level, but then theres part of me that is reserved, hesitant. It’s not often that I get wary of my writing, but today I had that.
‘Battle’ takes place at some point after ‘Fallen’, but I’m not completely sold on when. 3 years? 1 year? Its less than 3, but I feel it needs to be greater than 1. That’s one problem, but its easily solved.
The next? Its got a LOT of goings on. I mean a LOT. Theres dozens of new characters, or at least characters in ‘Fallen’ who now have huge roles, and its been a tangled mess to promote and fulfill their destinies in the story. But, I’m plugging along and it shouldn’t be that big a problem.
But dammit, I am cautious that I’m rushing it. Should I be trying my hand at other works before doing this? Before creating the epic that is ‘Battle of the Heavens’?
I do not know. I DO know that ‘Fallen’ took a long time, and I do not expect battle to take nearly as long, but I do hope to have a rough draft, no less than 100k words, by my birthday.
So, I’ve set the goal. I’m going to see what I’ve got done first, I think I have at least 50 pages, albeit scattered, done.
I’ll keep you posted, loyal reader.

RAWR

2009-01-27T20:16:00.000-08:00

OH DAMN DO I FEEL GOOD!
Its the feeling, that awestruck, utterly amazing feeling when you are able to reread something you wrote and expand on it with the right music playing in the background, motivating you to finish what you have left to write.
RAWR!
It is describable, but that even the great John Updike (RIP) would struggle to put words to the feeling to give it justice.
I've begun to work on 'Battle of the Heavens' again, and while the spark of my detective stories has not faded from the sky of my writing desires, I got inspired and a strong desire to work on BotH, and have done so.
It is the greatest fucking feeling in the world for me to sit down and write with a fire in my gut, a burning desire that spreads through my fingers onto the keys. If I could bottle this shit, I'd make a fortune.
Needless to say, I'm loving my writing again.
Thanks for reading, reader.

Missed Opportunities

2009-01-24T08:52:00.001-08:00

I was thinking to myself about various times that I had an idea and then the next minute, gone.
I decided to write about this subject because I had a great idea recently, only to have it escape from me as I grabbed a pen to write it down.
An idea is a wonderful thing, it could be the final piece to the puzzle or the starting point of something greater than itself, sometimes you get to discover it, other times you lose it, quickly.
I’ve taken to repeating the idea or phrase over and over in my head until I can remember it and recite it word for word 4 times without fault, if I screw up then the trouble begins.
Many of my ideas are lucky enough to get on paper for a few paragraphs, lucky for me at least. I usually will reread it later in the day and shake my head at the craziness that past Andrew whipped up, probably while tripping on LSD or the like.
But, I’ve been learning to carry recording items on my person at all times, or surround myself with others who have the capacity. I’ve even gone so far as to use a friends phone to call mine and leave a message with the details, but that’s a rare occurrence.
Some of my missed opportunies have come in the form of an idea that sticks me with me through the ages, I still have “The Doom Zone” on the drawing board for a revisit at some point, and ideas from high school or pre-dropout days are still firmly in place in my head and wanting to get down on paper.
However, because of my fear of missing a great opportunity I’ve been writing down basically anything that enters my mind and sticks for two minutes or more (that concerns a story, not boobs or food). Better to get it down than to not.
I’ve been getting random ideas for my short stories concerning a Mr. Cal Birch, and he has been quite busy as of late, with what I cant say, but the ideas are there for a few things. Just need to flesh them out a bit more and I’ll have some nice short stories to submit to mystery magazines. Delightful.

Muses and Ettiquette for them

2009-01-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

Today marks a new day in our society, a new era of our country, a new dream for anyone who dares to dream.
Enough of the political stuff, but I must admit it got me a bit inspired.
Not to say that Inaugirations are inspiring for me, but I've been findin little things these days inspire me.
Take the inaguration today, while watching it I was inspired to think about sequels to the books I'm writing, changes in leadership and the stresses involved, a thought process that will help me greatly with BotH.
But on Sunday I was talking to a friend and while discussing how I was trying my hand at writing mysteries, she casually mentioned that its overdone to have mysteries in the 50s, which is very very true. So we set out to discuss when the series should take place.
Then it hit me, thanks to a story from my grandpa, the first time I've had insprition in the form of my grandpa.
He was telling me, years ago, how during the depression he and other kids would run along the sides of coal trains gathering pieces of coal that fell off the sides of the trains.
So, using some names I had been given thanks to my friend, I set up a new set of mysteries with a new name and a slightly new character.
The first was a drinker, sinner, smoker, all around great catch. The new one is a drinker, but less so, smokes, and sins, but not as often. Hes got moments where you like him, moments where you hate him, also known as a regular human being.
Its funny how inspiration, or muses, can be found. Usually they come when you arent looking for a muse, which is often the best time to look.

The next great American Novel (GAN)

2009-01-19T19:46:00.000-08:00

I've often wondered to myself while writing, if what I'm putting down on the page will one day be looked at and studied by students in a high school, or even a college. The good kind of study, not the 'dont do this' kind of thing.
I love some of the classics, some of the greatest works of our time I've read, and I'm usually game for any book you throw my way, so long as it doesn't hit the face.
But, I don't study them. I don't examine the lines, because I don't think many authors of the finest works spent hours upon hours looking at other's work, instead they focused more on their own ideas, and read the works of others as a pastime. Or at least I imagine they do, because thats what I do.
But I cant help like feeling like probably the rest of all young writers, that i have the next great novel in my head, just waiting to get on the paper.
The odds of me sitting down and writing out something amazing are actually in my favor. The odds of the writing being good, well those are a little slimmer. The odds of me writing the next American novel? Well, thats a little harder.
I dont want my texts being studied, examined and praised. I want them to be enjoyed. I want someone to come home from a long day and forgo the television because they want to see what my creation has gotten themselves into this time. I want the respect of my peers, and a fanbase that enjoys my works.
I sometimes doubt that I'll get these things. Sometimes.
I'm not going to lie. I'm not trying to gloat. I have the next great American novel in my head.
But like most, and by most I mean over 99.999999999% it may not get out of my head in the way it should. I have a strong belief that Fallen is a great piece, but its not quite there. I dont think thats the next GAN, but I think I have a story that I've been working on that, if done right, is the GAN.
I guess the definetion for GAN should be explained. I think of the GAN as a book that you love, and the bulk of people love but took years to write. Its a piece of fiction that touches something in you, captures the essence of an era or time, and basically is something that people can read for decades to come and have it still ring true to them.
Quick example, 'Catcher in the Rye'.
I'm not saying I'll ever rival that, or 1984 or any other piece of fiction that deserves to be read every year by classes and individuals every year, but damn, wouldn't that be nice?
Give me 10 years of being a perfectionist, (something I will focus on in my next blog) and I'll give you the next Great American Novel. But, until 1/19/2019, dont ask me again.

A New Year

2009-01-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend the other day about when I plan on being done with this round of edits for "Fallen" and couldnt answer.
I've often given myself deadlines and just ignored them, which is a poor habit to have. Pretty bad one indeed.
Anyway, I plan on rereading it over the next week, then starting on my next round of edits after that. The edits are small word changes for flow and for grammatical sake.
Then, I'm going to finish BotH.
Seriously.
I'm working hard at getting myself back on writing track, do at least 30 minutes a day which is a minimum, it can turn into 3 hours if I let it (only gotten to 2, but who knows!)
I have Godless nearly finished, which is a good sign. I'm going to try to send it into a few places soon and see if it fits their publishing standards. But, I'll be writing more on that soon.

Dreams and their frivolity

2008-12-25T20:00:00.000-08:00

(Authors note: I should specify that this does not pertain to night dreams, but 'when I grow up' dreams)
I cracked open a Virgil's Black Cherry Cream Soda before I sat down and started smacking the keys in an organized fashion. I had a great opener, something about dreaming and why its important, but frivolous, to follow them.
Theres a one in a million chance your dreams will come true, unless of course your dream is to be a burnout or drunk, those are quite easy to achieve. But most people, the ones who want to be professional athletes, CEOs, successful business owners, are not going to achieve those goals, not without a boat load of luck, good timing, skills, and a shit ton of luck.
I feel that I am not exactly burdened with any of those things.
I have won about $5 in lotto tickets with well over $150 spent since I turned 18. I'm not exactly tearing it up in the stock market. My writing is like comparing boxed wine to a bottle of Dom Perignon, not bad, but the latter REALLY kicks the snot out of the former.
I guess I should point out that the chasing dreams is not really frivolous, but chasing them without getting out of your chair is.
Up to now, I've been chasing my dreams from my cheap chair from Meijer. Now, does that mean I'm going to run to IKEA and buy the one I've wanted the last year? Maybe, it has a tall back and reminds me a bit of a rocking chair.
Well, I'll give myself partial credit, as lazy as I've been in writing I've had stretches that just blew my mind. I'd been able to tap into my creativity like never before and pump our pages and pages of good stuff, but the quality did not make up for the lack of quantity.
I've got only 6 more pages of edits to do on the book, at least the unedited piece, and I'm going to log out in just a minute to do them before hitting the hay and sleep off the large amount of ham I have ingested. Then, tomorrow, I'll get it printed and bound and reread it. Then reread it again, with a pen in hand.
I'm getting up out of my chair and making the frivolity of chasing my dream a thing of the past.
Do the same for yourself, reader, not matter how small or large it is. If you want to be a poet, sit down and wax poetic for hours (not the right use, but I liked it there), get a teaching degree and teach underprivileged kids. Get out of the chair, because life is only frivolous if you let it be.

I dream of Writers Retreat

2008-12-10T15:40:00.000-08:00

Now, It would depend a bit on what I’m feeling, but I’ve had a dream for a while of doing a writers retreat and I think iffn I ever get big enough, I’d organize one for young writers much like some heavy weights in the writing world do.
Basically, when I think of the place the retreat would happen, I think of my ideal writing environment.
A small, one bedroom cabin to start. The cabin has a kitchenette, just a small fridge and small stove top. The pantry has boxes of macaroni and cheese and everything required to make it. A few boxes of cereal, some sweet some more nutritious. Theres boxes of tea and some cans of soda, and tuna cans.
A big, BIG bay window with a lake through it, at least, it would be if not for all those damn trees with their golden leaves that seem ready to fall off at any moment.
Two windows on the sides of the cabin for a cross breeze and a screen door letting the sounds of nature come in.
Theres a bit of a chill, but that’s fine thanks to the fireplace.
I have a laptop with all of my word documents on it, all separated into appropriate folders. A stereo with a remote sitting on the top of the fridge playing cds i've burned just for this occasion, so theres no need to alt tab from the hard work.
Sigh.
One day I will get this place, or at least a hologram of it on my display room walls. Trust me, there will be a day like this soon.

Side Stories

2008-12-06T12:31:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend of mine a few weeks back about a short story I've been kicking around, 'Godless', and he started talking. I didnt listen to him for very long, since he stopped talking about my story, but before I had tuned him out, I heard him say something about how he enjoys different stories that are set in the same world, or something like that.
I'm kidding of course, I listened to him and talked a decent bit about 'Godless' and other various stories that occur within the world of Vaughn Grim, but do not concern him.
I like side stories myself, they tend to be a good way to explore the world around your characters, without actually being their world. What happens here in Michigan in a few months could be something completely different in say, Wisconsin or hell, evening the UP (that's upper peninsula for those of you who do not understand our complex Michigander lingo, but please try to keep up).
And the history is as united as our states in this America, but each state has a rich, vibrant history as well.
Those histories as side stories to our country's story, and are as important to our country as the states themselves. Or something like that.
Anyways, just a random side story thought from yours truly. I'm hard at work reediting Fallen, I should have the rest of my edits done by tomorrow, thats my goal, then I'm going to get it printed and bound and do some edits myself, fix them up, then have someone more skillzed take a look and fix what I missed.
Its all very exciting.

A discussion of Magic(k)

2008-11-18T15:59:00.000-08:00

I'm putting the lore post on the back burner for this brief post concerning magic(k).
I love magic(k). The idea of opening your palm and shooting out balls of fire just, for some reason, makes me smile. The same goes for lightning and ice.
The only real magic used in my story thus far isnt really magic, but telekinesis. Coble controls peoples minds, or at least, mildly influences them.
Later on, demons are able to use energy from the netherworld to shoot black fire at foes.
I think that magic is a good thing in fantasy, personally I cannot wait to bring magic up later in the story (and it will play a huge factor with several main characters), but I was wondering if other people like magic in fantasy stories, or feel that it has no place?
I can understand some people like swords and people fighting one another without much magic involved, but me? I like the feeling you can create when you hero, armed with a sword and a shield, goes up against a scantily clad woman with hands that are holding orbs of fire, which will soon be launched towards the hero. That, to me, screams "This is gonna be awesome" not only for the heaving breasts (all witches have them) but because of how the situation will play out. Will she throw a fireball taht the hero deflects to a stalgtite that falls on her? Will the fireball destroy his shield, causing him to flee and find a dragon's wing for protection? Will the ball of fire burn off her top and a sex scene follow (which, sadly, only occurs in erotic fairy tales staring Tom and Tomette (inside joke))?
The possibilites of magic are endless as well, and I know this post doesnt have much of a point (although its kinda long!) but I was curious of some of my reader (singular) thought's on magic, and if they like it or not.

An Epic History

2008-11-14T22:07:00.000-08:00

I may not be creative as others, although I try.
I was playing Wrath of the Lich King and was pumped, not only because the new mobs to kill and items to vendor, but because of the story.
I LOVE rich, detailed stories loaded with background, history and lore. I began thinking about this while I was writing, and not only do I want to write numerous volumes about Vaughn Grim, I want to write the history of his world, which I REALLY need to find a name for. I wrote it down a while ago, but cannot for the life of me find it again. The story behind the name for the world? I dropped a book on a keyboard and work. But thats another tale for another time (like when I remember the name!).
History is important in a story, if not for the reader to understand what happened, for the writer to comprehend the world they created.
I wont lie, I started Fallen from the mindset of '4 kingdoms, each one has a bit of hate towards one another. One falls because two gang up, its now gone, but the king remains behind.' Thats the very brief version of the story, but in it theres some history there. Why did those other two kingdoms gang up on the one? What caused this?
But thats easy history. I got that sorted out in a matter of hours.
The history I really cared about?
The Guardians.
I havent said much about guardians in this blog, and for good reason. I dont want to spoil the rest of the saga. However, Guardians are the men (and women, although one has yet to be sent back) that the Heavens choose to guard the continents from the demons of the underworld when the Battle of the Heavens occurs every 300 years.
I'm not going to bore you with the information yet, I'll save that for my next post. So come back, hopefully by Tuesday I'll have a comprehensive history set up, albeit brief, it will be cool reading (to me at least).

Heads Up

2008-11-03T21:33:00.000-08:00

I may move this blog to a new @blogspot.com and use this to post my writings, or vice versa (because the latter is much easier)
Ill keep you informed either way.

I never said it was all classy

2008-11-03T18:24:00.000-08:00

I was writing concerning Lord Vaughn Grim and his most recent setback of purifying his soul, a journey I think we all strive to partake but struggle to do, just like Vaughn, when I got inspired.
I get inspired to write during random times, sometimes even when writing.
Now, I wanted to write a part where Vaughn does something bad, something he knows is bad and is unable to really defend his action, but decides he wants to do it again.
Vaughn is known to do that from time to time, but it just didn’t fit the story in that part.
So I let Owen do it.
To those who know the “Space Story” it’s a poorly written (moreso than this blog) that concerns the adventures of the Quasar 17 crew during their research of a super massive black hole.
Its not eloquent, poetic or anything that will win me ‘Writer of the Year’ (an award I created to give to myself) but dammit, I like to think its fun.
Its got semi believable futuristic characters, who speak like they have been around one another for long enough to know what the other person is about to say, and everyone is happy to be going their separate ways although maybe just a bit they want to stick by one another for a while longer.
So I start writing a scene for it, pump out about 3 pages before I realize what I’ve done.
I’m at a great turning point, its got a bit of hope and heartbreak in it, but the scene completely parallels the one I was writing in Fallen, different characters and setting and story, but the moment is similar.
The first time I worked on Space Story (that’s the title) I pumped out about 8 pages before I stopped, then the next day I pumped out about 7 more, then worked on the 3rd part and got about 5 more done.
I like the story because its so different from the Fallen saga, mainly in setting and character development, mainly in the protagonists.
Vaughn is a man who wants to be better, he wants to be worthy of the love he receives and seeks ways to make himself acceptable in his own eyes, despite others finding little flaw.
But every time he finds something to save him, he screws himself (or someone else).
Owen, who had a long affair with Marcy, who was involved with someone before the mission, engaged in fact, wasn’t so worried about the fact that he was with Marcy, but that he was going to lose her. He sees himself as a flawed man, but not quite flawed enough for an effort. He does his job well, he does his work as he’s told and is fun to be around.
Both of them are fun to write for, Vaughn is not as fun as it is a study in part of myself, I see Vaughn’s actions and cringe or shake my head or nod in approval, something he desires beyond belief.
Owen on the other hand appreciates the feedback, but will get back to me later. He isn’t carefree, he just knows that hes in a situation that allows him to be a different person than most anticipated he was.
I love my various stories.
I’m also going to post some Space Story up eventually, once I get it a bit more polished.
This blog was kind of all over the place, wasn’t it?

Title!

2008-10-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

I worked on 'Fallen' a bit today and realized that, damn, I need to reedit it.
I've got a problem.
Its called a mind.
I keep reading my material and have this desire, nay, URGE, to change something or make it better.
Its not major, like the storyline. Its just minor character tweaks and changes. The story, like Vaughn's fate, is not set in stone but let me tell you that the guy with a chisel is about to get off his break.
I just imagined a guy in a toga sitting in my old kroger break room, sitting in the center of the middle tables, an old fake wood top on metal legs surrounded by plastic chairs, legs planted on the ground with a Styrofoam cup resting in his hand while the elbow rests on the table, a chisel sitting next to him, bits of white dust stuck to it, and a half eaten candy bar sitting in front of him.
Sorry. Wanted to share that with you.
Where was I? Ah yes, reedits and additions.
Some say that edits are so much easier if you write well the first time through. I'm proud to say I've bitch slapped a few of those people for saying I have poor writing skills. I also understood what they said. The writing of Fallen is somewhat weak, I'll say that much, some of the lines make me tilt my head and say 'even I dont know what I was trying to say there.'
Each time I reread it, the glaring problems dont seem as glarey. But the problem I'm seeing is the little dings, and its buffering those out that makes my day all the better.
I've set on one last time through, just 20 pages then I'm getting it printed up and ready for binding so I can read it like a book, not a really long blog post.
Speaking of which, once I get my shit in gear and am pretty content with the prologue, look for it up here.

Moving along

2008-10-21T17:31:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to spend too much time on a project? Lets say you have been working on a shed the last few years. It started off as a dog house with big dreams. You decided that you loved Mr Pooch too much to put outside in the cold, and you needed the company inside. But, you had the plans drawn and materials bought. So you change it a bit, show your friends that you ARE in fact semihandy around the house.
So you work on it a bit, get the foundation laid, start getting the outside built up, when you realize how great a new spice rack would be for the misses for her birthday. So you focus on that task, get one made up and pass it to her and smile as she gives you a 'good effort' peck on the cheek.
Back to work on the shed! You start to put up the walls, but winter comes a little faster than before, so you put a tarp over it, but everyday you look out the window to the backyard and see small patch of blue peeking out from beneath the snowy blanket that covered the neighborhood.
You chip away at it when the weather is good, but because of the distractions the shed has taken you more than six years to make.
Six years?
Its done though, right?
Sure, aside from the paint, the shelves for the inside, getting some electricity back there, etc.
Is six years too long? Maybe for a shed.
But books are like sheds.
Hang on, I'm going somewhere with this.
Both are made out of matter. Both can be destroyed by their antimatter duplicates.

Construction and writing are very different tasks, one requires planning, hard work and focus.
The other requires a pen, paper and imagination.
At least thats my opinion.
You can write for 6 years on something and not be finished, you can have the foundation laid, the walls built, the roof in place but still be painting or sanding. Or those pesky shelves.
Moving from the shed to the spice rack to the rocking chair to the crib to the shed, is fine, just as long as you finish the projects in between and come back to the shed.
So you do. You open the file up and look over the outlines for the chapters. You go to past areas and paint them over again, make them shiny once more.
I think its important not to focus too much on one task, and straying from it is fine, just as long as you remember the original project, the one outside waiting for you to finish it.

The problem with perfection

2008-10-09T19:53:00.001-07:00

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty damn good at only a few things.
Relationships? not so much.
Friend? Meh.
Writing? That’s where I’m a Viking.
Or so I’ve been told. By myself while speaking to the mirror.
And I’m damn handsome.
I was looking over my Fallen edits (hahahaha) for the first time in about 2 weeks. I don’t like a part of it, IE the part I’m editing. I feel its jumbled and thrown in, just like the part before it.
TO be honest, the entire story before they leave the Eagle Kingdom makes me weep uncontrollably. Luckily I’ve worked on it enough to only cause lone tears of joy. This little section is going to be rewritten.
But when I wrote it, did I have a reason for some of those lines? I’d like to think I had motivation for the actions the characters partook in, however for the life of me, I cannot figure out why they are being so stubborn and hasty.
I’m off to work, to mine the story from this imperfect parcel, and when I return, I shall have, yet another perfect section of my book completed.
Only 50 more to go*.
Fucking perfection.

*Not really, but theres about 56 parts in the book so I just threw that number out there. In reality once you clear the hedge, you get into some classy and good writing.

Outline for Dreams

2008-10-07T16:23:00.000-07:00

Mysterious attacks on bystanders at night grow increasingly violent, until one nigt when the streets become overrun by manics.
The nights of terror continue, with people locking their homes and barring their doors. A disease, spread by unknown means has gripped the city. Evacuations are mandatory, but few remain behind in their homes.
-Money (poor)/Loyalty to city (possible sports fan refusing to leave)
A suburban family, living just three miles from the edge of a city’s center decides to pack up and move to a family member’s home in Utah, where theres little chance of infection.
On the way to Utah, they find a caravan of people moving towards the west coast and decide safety in numbers.
-Caravan or just crowded roadway/meet up with people at rest stop and are sent with a group of others and escort by national guard?
They head to Omaha, to gather more people when they are attacked by a group of looters while getting supplies at a red cross truck.
The daughter is separated from her father, who the red cross carry away in a van. Looters surround the daughter and she blacks out, only to wake up in a penthouse
-Looters
Group of 5, chase away father and kill a red cross worker
Trap daughter (Maddie)
Penthouse man appears after she blacks out

While not complete, you see the trend of the outline with various bullets with sub bullets. The intial outline for BOTH is sitting in a lined notebook somewhere, waiting for sub bullets upon sub bullets.
Just a glimpse into the mind of a horrible outliner/writer!

Outlines outlines outlines

2008-10-06T08:10:00.000-07:00

Outlines are to books, are like something very important to the success of something else.
Don't believe me? That's ok, you don't HAVE to. But you'd be wrong in such a case.
The way I outline is simple, I start of with a short paragraph of the story, then build off of each sentence until I have a page of a somewhat thorough outline.
Then I stretch the outlines by parts, then outline each individual part, looking back it would have been smart to have an example of such an outline, but here we are with no example.
My bad?
I'll try to post one later this week for something I'm considering working on.

Banana goodness is NOT vinegar

2008-09-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

I'm pushing myself to write more so that I can quit my job and focus on my true love, which I often claim is writing.
I've got several out good story ideas, many of them shorter for a quick, enjoyable read. Others short, but in large doses for your elongated pleasure. Another is an epic story, which you can become married to if you so desire, just in international waters.
But as I sat thinking about how great it would be to write, I was worried that once I finished all my stories, I'd have no more ideas and cry.
So I got to thinking-what other story ideas do I have? I've had one in my head for a while but was worried it was too similiar in premise to movies I'd seen, until recently when I began thinking of an outline for it. I do believe its going to be a scifi story and that after I've gotten a few of my shorter ideas completed, it will find its way to the page.
But who knows.
My goal as of right now is to finish Fallen's edits and the 1st draft of BOTH by November 8th, so I can send out Fallen and start revision on BOTH, all the while working away at Dreams and my space story (whose placeholder name has lasted a lot longer than I imagined). I think that once I've finished those things, I'll keep working until I've got a better idea if I can continue on with this writing lifestyle.

Have a little faith in me

2008-09-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

I'm my biggest supporter. I'm also my biggest critic.
I write something, I praise it while tearing it down.
Sometimes its hard to really tell if something is good or if its bad, so I have to just have a little faith in me.
I'm listening to John Hiatt's 'Have a little faith in me' right now and its eye opening for me.
Clearly, the song is not about a writers struggle against himself, but I'm thinking more along the lines of having faith in oneself.
I've written some amazing things, at least to me they were, but I've written some terrible things too, at least to me they were.
My failurings catch up to me from time to time and I sink down into a bit of a depression, we are entering week 3 of that right now, but I'm getting more motivated and cheered up by my writing again. I usually get mad that I'm not doing enough with my life, get pissed and sick and depressed and miserable to be around. But put the blame on me, I cant blame anyone else for what I've done wrong with up to this point. All I feel I have to really show (despite my girlfriend's cheerful voice listing off assorted truths) up to this point is my writing. I've got a book, so what? Some people have degrees, some people have a million dollars. I've got 200 pages of not quite publish-worthy stuff. More, if you count my numerous other pages of babble.
200 pages.
But I have a little faith in me.
Every writer before me has started off somewhere. Some more than 200, some less. I have 200 pages of solid story. 200 pages of heart wrenching moments. 200 pages of poetry in motion (to quote the cheerful voice).
I've got 200 pages.
But I have thousands of pages of ideas.
I'm going to get published, one way or another. If its by a big name group, awesome. If its by Lulu, so be it. If I have to go to Kinko's and do it myself, then I'll be putting those dimes in with a purpose.
I think its important to remember that everyone has to start off low on the totem pole. That its a hard climb to get up the hill. I'm out of cliche metaphors.
But, just remember that without faith in yourself, in your words on your page, you have nothing.
That's why I have a little faith in me.
And that's why you should have faith in me too.

Where does it end?

2008-09-17T16:42:00.000-07:00

Book 1-Rise of a Dark Knight (tentative)
Book 2-Legacy of Vaughn (tentative)
Book 3-Of the Fallen
Book 4-Battle of the Heavens
Book 5a-Of Demons (tentative)
Book 5b-and Dragons (tentative)
Book 6-The One (tentative)
Book 7-End of a God (tentative)

Where does it end? When is ok to kill off your character or let him sit on an island in the woods, sitting on a handmade bench with his wife walking from the house towards the fire, a bottle of wine in hand and two glasses in her other.
I've yet to decide how the series is going to end. I intially had an end planned out, two really, it was going to be a choose your own adventure in a way. I liked the premise, loved how I implemented it.
I wont give too much away, but basically in the first one, Vaughn is depressed and slinks off the stage, a beaten man, mentally at least, and goes to end his days alone in his home. The second ending was that he left, but returns and fights foes that threatened him.
But, both of those continued on past the scene.
How do I want to end the life of my greatest character I've yet to create, or perhaps the greatest character I will ever create?
Do I give him the life he wants, somewhat? Do I send him out in a flurry of arrows and blades?
Or do I send him out with a whimper, a stab in the back? A broken and heartless man who gets his due for all the crimes he had not received forgiveness for (There is a word I wanted to use that starts with an A for that, but I'm not quite sure which word I was going to use)?
Part of me wants him to 'retire' and spend time with his loved ones.
But part of me wants his last breath to be drawn fighting for causes that he doesnt completely understand, but does so to curry favor.
I wont go into too many details. I do not think it would be a novel, persay, instead just a novella, nothing more than 100 pages.
Hell, maybe just 50.
But then again, maybe after that he would have another adventure.
SO where does it end?

Shifting perspectives

2008-09-16T06:36:00.001-07:00

I’m crazy.
It seems this past week, despite my wanting to work on Fallen and its brethren, my brain has foiled each attempt by thinking about my space story.
Fucking brain.
SO now I’m doing (minor) work on the space story. I wonder to myself, via this blog, if this is becoming a trend or not? What spurs this?
It is becoming a trend, basically every few weeks/months my mind gets overloaded with thinking about my one project and demands it move to the next.
The difference is that its not a one day sort of thing, instead my brain begins thinking about something else while I’m trying to work on the initial project.
Its not a bad thing, I’ve been thinking more and more about my space story this past month and it seems my thinking organ said ‘maybe we should do something about that!’
So, I guess I’m going to do something about that.
I was somewhat let down by part 2, I’m not sure why, it helped to mold the crew a bit more and was leading to a big discovery but I’m not 100% pleased with it. I think I’ll rework it and send it up the flagpole and see who salutes. But mostly, what I’ve been wanting to work on has been further along the road, which makes me think my mind is constantly shifting what it wants me to do, and the only way I can keep up with it is to quit my job and my life so that I can keep up with it :P
Feel free to comment if you want me to quit my job so I can keep up with mah brain.
(Now do you see why, other than the shifting mind, I'm crazy?)

Hm

2008-09-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering how much of this blog is for the readers and how much is for me to just get ideas out there and fleshed out? Not story ideas, but instead just fleshing out theories about my story and its characters.
I spent about 20 minutes this morning writing about Vaughn's addiction to phoenix blood, and a few weeks back I wrote a blog about why Vaughn does what he does and just last week I wrote one concerning Goe and his life inside of the next story and beyond.
I guess I'm wondering if people are actually interested in reading that sort of thing, or if I should post it and let you decide?
I'll think about it if you will, but I'm going to go edit.
Peace.

The Art of Being a Woman

2008-08-31T16:04:00.000-07:00

I’m not going to lie: I am not a woman.
I have no desire to be a woman. I, like most men, do not know what women want.
Therefore I’m an expert on how to write for a woman.
I’m not, but humor me.
In early drafts of Fallen, I had two main females, one very push-overish and prone to crying, the other prone to mount men who have power.
Sarant didn’t change very much, although her part expanded greatly, and her part as a push over cry baby became limited and slowly replaced with a stronger female (albeit not that much).
Aura, who in the first draft was Vaughn’s woman on the side (not to be confused with Emily, the woman he loves), was a fighter like him, who was very attracted to his power. She accompanied Vaughn and Sarant on their journey then grew angry as Vaughn began to do his job of protecting Sarant.
I didn’t like the first draft of Aura. She was too loose, too vicious and too mean. Shes the kind of girl that you don’t take home to mom, whereas Sarant and Emily are.
What happened?
First, lets discuss Sarant.
Sarant was too weak, too feeble to be the character she becomes. I realized this and even though I knew she could make the change in Battle of the Heavens, I had to make sure SHE knew she could do it. I took out some of the tears, some of the mumbled ‘okay’s and put her to work with the occasional headstrong attitude I’ve grown to love about her, all the while keeping her sometimes crazy persona.
Sarant was originally based off a few friends of mine, all women. To me, at the time, were innocent, somewhat naïve, somewhat crazy and needy.
Now, onto the other main woman, Aura.
I didn’t like what she did to Vaughn, to put it bluntly. He became more of a womanizer, sometimes a very horny, angry man who was not on the path that he is now. I realized that for her to be in the story, she either had to be moved to a similar but different part, or removed until the time came for her to show her face. So instead of joining their adventures from the start, well, I won’t give it all away.
I had to keep Aura, because she plays a big part in the Battle of the Heavens, although her part has been greatly reduced and changed from the first draft of Fallen, she remains a big power player in Battle of the Heavens. Overall I think shes a more interesting character than her first inception, which is good. I like my book to have whores, but not the kind she becomes.
Aura, well she was based off ex girlfriends and girls I knew who were not exactly on the ball. Basically women who hurt me or offended me in some capacity.
As the series progresses the women change, but the person who changes the most is Sarant. She becomes stronger, more independent, but during quiet moments alone is very different, she reverts back to her mopey self.
What caused this to change?
Obviously I understood my characters lives more thoroughly and began to make the necessary changes to the secondary players. Clearly, Vaughn and Sarant are the two main people in this story, while Vaughn’s role in the next is GREATLY reduced. But not only did looking back on my characters help change who they are, but the various people who had helped inspire the characters.
The Aura’s of my life all but vanished, or became somewhat new people, where the Sarant’s started to not be such weak individuals.
So being a woman in my book is like being a woman in real life. Except, you know, not.

Another delay on the good blogs!

2008-08-26T15:37:00.000-07:00

MUAHAHAHA AND YET YOU READ ON! HOPING ONE DAY FOR ONE OF THE TRUE BLOGS! MUAHAHAAHAHAH.
Anyways, thanks to the fact we are applying a few layers of poly to the floor (go go hardwood!)my computer is out of service for the duration. But dont worry, I'm editing like the champion I aspire to be to get my book sent off.
Speak of that, if you are interested in reading my book, hit me with a comment or email. Odds are I'll send it to you.
I shuold update around Friday with a blog and a bonus (maybe even one tonight).
Good times and please stay tuned!

The Blogs are coming!

2008-08-19T15:33:00.000-07:00

I've chipped away at the two aforementioned blogs, and should have the women one done in a week, Gravity will take a while longer since its in its 3rd or 4th revision. Goood times.
But I wanted to focus on my writing the last few weeks and whats been happening with my edits and new writings.
While the edits have been slowly getting done, I find myself struggling on them. Not because I'm lazy (well, maybe a bit) but because its just cluttered with randomness that I cannot fathom. I actually just highlighted and erased a page of on section because it was unneeded, but it didnt clarify the section, just made it shorter.
The task at hand is to edit for continuality and obvious shit. Sadly, when an entire part is in dire need of reedit, I tend to just brush some dirt on it and tell myself I'll get back to it.
Sigh.
However, bu working on edits its allowing my mind to fly free! I've been working on the next section of my space story, determining how I'm going to have the interaction between (spoiler removed)and the struggle for the crew of Quasar 17 once they realize what they need to do to get a leg up on their rivals.
My end of the world story also is cruising along. I'm not going to make it a whole book, I dont think I can, but instead a short story saga, with bits and pieces to publish, more than likely just online.
Either way, I'm working hard to get my project done so that I can start work on finishing 'BOTH'. My goals, whcih I will keep you updated on, are:
1. Finish editing Fallen and submit to DAW by Sept 15th
2. Finish the rough version of Battle of the Heavens by Dec 1st.

Too many blogs

2008-08-12T19:16:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure why, but for the first time in a long time, my mind is blowin up with blog ideas!
Problem is that I'm a bad blogger. Don't try to convince me otherwise, loyal reader. I tend to go off on rants midway through a statement, leaving ideas open ended and incomplete.
Thats what she said.
Heres a brief list of the in progresses...es
1. Fight Gravity (title is self explanatory)
2. The art of writing females
3. Dangers of being cocky
4. Burritos: Foe of the 1st date

4 and 3 arent really something I'm working on, but I have like a page for both 1 and 2, but feel like they need more work to convey the message I'm trying to get across. Its interesting, I usually just toss a new blog out once a week, but those two have really made me think about character development and obstacles and my future in writing.
I'll post #2 sometime late this week, maybe early next week. #1 will be 'When its Done'
Stay tuned, loyal reader, its going to be a fun time in blogland.

My book has whores. Wanna read it now?

2008-08-05T10:35:00.001-07:00

I was thinking about how much Fallen has changed, and believe me it has, but the changes have come in the form of more details, more imagery, less violence.
One scene that comes to mind from my first draft is the scene where Vaughn finds a young girl, just about 10-13, who is working as a whore. She claims shes never been hired and Vaughn gives her money to flee. He then kills two guards who think he is hiring a prostitute, but in the end they joke with him about how they both have had her, then are very crass in their descriptions.
Infuriated, Vaughn finds out where she lives and goes to the Brothel, then kills everyone in the house, including the young girl.
Some complaints arose that it was too violent. However I wanted to relay the darkness and sinister nature of the Dragon Kingdom, that it even corrupts children.
But, in the end I realized I don’t want Vaughn to be known for killing a 10 year old whore, so instead I rethought the scene.
Instead of a 10-13 year old, shes more mature, closer to 14-16. not ideal, but given the fact that Vaughn himself is only 19-20 in the story, along with the bulk of the main characters, it seemed young enough that it would be believable she works as a lady of the evening, but her death wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows.
So, the reworked scene now details the young lady taking money from Vaughn and rushing off to a hotel to find refuge from her pimp brother. However the guards catch Vaughn and he kills them, after they say they have had other women from the same house, but she refused and was beaten for it.
Vaughn goes to the house and instead of killing the whole place, just kills her brother and two witnesses who happen to be on top of her brother doing acts which I can only say are ‘hot’.
I won’t give you all the details, but the actions after what I just mention help lead Vaughn down the path he takes for the rest of the book.
I love the scene because it explores how evil people can be, but also how evil our hero, Vaughn, can be.
And how whores are sometimes just misunderstood.

and Demons

2008-07-31T07:58:00.000-07:00

(this is part two of my Dragons and Demons post)
I’m taking a break from not writing to present to you, my loyal reader, some information about the demons from my books!
Yay!
From early on in Fallen you are introduced to two demonic creatures, first the ogre (not REALLY demonic, just fugly and the offspring of demons and orcs) and the spider that’s carapace is thick as blackstrap molasses and has razor like limbs.
But in reality, those are just abominations, creatures that through inbreeding and devastating circumstance, reside in the Dungeon of Sinn for unknown reasons (or to be released on unknowing enemies).
Demons however are not mutants or freaks of nature, instead when I say demons I think of the demonic forces that arise from the netherworld.
Delharg was a good man, somewhat, until the netherworld turned him into a demon during the 2nd Battle of the Heavens, granted he agreed to be such a demon. The gods burned off his wings of white and heavenly grace and the remnants were charred bones and burnt muscles holding the bones in place.
His strength comes from the netherworld, and his powers are in essence, evil.
But theres the physical demon, like Harg, but theres the link demons, links who also switched sides.
Derith is one such. Originally the wife of one of the first guardians, after his demise, she turned to the netherworlds for salvation, vowing revenge against the link (the guardian’s sister) for allowing her beloved to die. She now commands Harg and numerous other members of the netherworld, who in turn command the legions of demon undead.
The undead, or demon undead, are just that, undead forces who emerge from the netherworld. Now, if they were crawling up from their coffins buries underground, I would just consider them to be undead, but their allegiance to the netherworld, to me at least, means they are demonic in origin.
So I guess what I’m saying is the netherworld is like Hell. And the netherworld produces Demons.
Boy, probably could have just said that instead of that filler shit up there, huh?
Also, I've decided the title of my book after BOTH is going to be title Of Dragons and Demons. Just something for the trivia fan out there

Of Dragons...

2008-07-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

I was doing my morning walk today, looking for any hawks that may want to feast on my sweet eye juices, and started pondering dragons and demons.
This blog focuses on the former, the next will focus on the latter.
Now, some writers have talking dragons, evil dragons or human sized dragons with sexual appetites that could rival a Scotsman.
My dragons aren’t like that, at least in the manner of being able to speak to humans clearly. Well, some dragons are evil, but that’s because they are animals and their land is being intruded on. Or they are the King of Dragons and have become crazy with power (boy, that theme seems to be one of my favorite ones).
I have set rules for my dragons:
1. Speak only in a tongue that other dragons understand, unless the human is a guardian currently or in the past. Demons also understand dragons, and vice versa, but more on that next blog.
2. Prefer to fly, but are willing to walk.
3. Lay eggs and abandon the nest, leaving the community to raise them.
4. Dragons tend to get along with other dragons, so long as they follow the golden rule (an example of which is you don’t eat my kill, I don’t eat yours)
5. Dragons and humans have long been at odds, but Dragons tend to ignore the plight of humans unless humans:
a) piss them off and deserve to be killed because of hunting parties
b) a dragon aligns itself with one side of humanity because they wish to defend that side

Obviously they live by numerous rules, but the general respect one another rule is very strict in the Dragon world, not to be confused with the Dragon Kingdom.

Edits

2008-07-28T10:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm still editing. For some reason, whenever I write the word editing, edited, editly, editficate, I want to add another t, maybe thats a sign I suck at edits?
In all honesty, my loyal reader knows that I loathe edits. But with a deadline looming, I'm sucking it up and doing it.
I did about 4 pages worth today before my brain started retching, so I stopped and began to kill off brain cells with sweet tea and sweet internet surfing.
My goal of 10 pages a day is going to be an indeed annoying one, but 5 a day seems like it could work. Some days I'm sure I'll struggle to get those 5, other days I'll struggle to keep it under 20.
But all in all, its for the best.
Im chanting my mantra, its good and people like it, its good and people like it.
Course, most havent read it yet, and the bulk of them never will.
But hey, mantra's dont have to make sense.

I grow weary of this!

2008-07-22T16:16:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at my computer today, NOT EDITING, and realized that my carrot on a stick was not really enough of a motivation for me to pursue my hardcore edits to the point of 3-4 hours a day of reading and modifying.
Build a better carrot on a stick? Well no shit. However the problem is that I have so many othe carrots dangling in front of me its getting harder and harder to pick which one to chase.
So then I thought, whats the biggest and best carrot to chase after?
I came up with several suggestions, most of which involed me eating hot fudge sundaes, or spending a day just chilling out and doing whatever I wanted.
Those rewards are not exactly out of the norm for me, so I need a big reward. Camping? Maybe, thats always fun. More writing? >_> sure. Day off of my semi=restrictive diet? Semi means loose.
I guess I'm looking for suggestions from my loyal reader as to what my reward for finishing the edits of my book before August 10th should be. And none of the 'finishing is its own reward' because thats only for one thing which I wont mention.
Fine, its horseshoes. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Just a little something...

2008-07-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

They say when the sun turns to black and the darkness becomes a burial shroud over the land, that the gods have abandoned them.
They say the gods play a game, and the only light that illuminates the charred and lifeless soil when they leave are the guardians.
When the twilight becomes eternal, their gods call upon those men chosen to defend the land.

Editing gets dull after a while, so I started thinking about various intros to my next book, and I was thinking this could do the trick.

Real blog should be up by tomorrow.

Handwriting vs Computing it

2008-07-16T20:45:00.001-07:00

I'm fairly certain that I read (Jack Gantos Link here) handwrites everything before putting it on his computer.
I've also read that I dont like that tedious effort to put my horrible handwriting with its many plotholes and spelling errors on paper then on the computer. I read that here, just now.
From a young age I've been told my handwriting needs improvement, but being infalible, I never saw a reason to. Until I started writing ideas for the 'Dark Knight' series down by hand, only to struggle while putting them into coherent sentences on the computer. It got worse when one summer I wrote nearly 30 pages of shorthand gibberish that I later transcribed into about 20 pages of 'Fallen' (I added a lot, as you can probably tell) but it took FOREVER.
I guess that I do write ideas down on paper before typing them, but its just ideas, things that need fleshing out. I dont really guess that I write ideas down, I have about 10-13 spiral bound notebooks with pages of information half scribbled throughout.
I'll jot down ideas while walking or at work (the hundreds of pieces of scrap paper that litter my room are evidence of that) and use them but usually will think about them first, expand on them in my mind then put them on the computer, then return to them.
I've been debating doing the whole put it on paper then on the screen for a while but never made the move.
I guess I'm content with 2-3 pages worth of scribbles I can put into 4-6 pages of text, but then again, if I've grown content, then my mind must be growing weary.

I'll have a better blog post coming sooner than later

End of a hiatus

2008-07-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

To help fuel efforts of my other writings, I occasionally switch focus from one project to the next. I've reached a stopping point in my space epic and after a bit of inspiration today, have decided that the stopping point for the space story is good enough for me to return to my work on Battle of the Heavens.
I plan on putting in more effort than I have before in writing Battle, in hopes of getting the rough version done before the Fall semester starts.
Hopefully once that is done, I can also have resubmitted Fallen for consideration among a few choice publishers.
As for space story, its going to sit there for a few weeks while I focus my energies on the novel. So fan of that, stay tuned!
I will be helping Cecy do some edits of her work tomorrow, maybe she will be kind enough to grace my story with her golden pen!

How to get people to read your stuff

2008-07-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

This, for the first time, is a blog about something I have very little experience in (aside from anything involving publishing). I’ve been known to send my book to close family and friends if they asked (or I told them to ask). Most understand that when I say ‘book’ I mean its probably more than 100 pages. I even took to find a book with a comparable word count, which apparently when I first began sending it out to people, that book was ‘The Hobbit’.
Boy, was that stupid of me.
Originally I sent out ‘Fallen’ in about 2004 to easily 10-15 people. Out of the 10-15, I think maybe two-three have read it. I got feedback from one.
That was the first draft, or as I like to call it, the 1st test group.
The second draft, which was done last summer consisted of 3 people. Each of those people have read it and given me positive feedback.
The difference?
I used violence. I kidnapped those three people and threatened them, which actually was the inspiration for Saw 4.
I’m kidding. I haven’t seen Saw 3, nor do I plan on watching the rest of the series.
The REAL difference was that I was more selective of who I sent it do. I sent it to people who I knew had some free time, or at least had expressed interest in my writing and had a desire to read it (thereby creating free time). I did my best to talk to them if they paused during the reading, gave them a chance to give me feedback in the middle of it.
One friend read it in his day off from work. Spent the whole day reading and understanding it, giving me advice and ideas along the way. Hes getting a personalized signed copy when I get published (for the low price of 29.99)
My Uncle read it over the end of summer, reading parts of it here and there, and would usually give me feedback on each part, which I would discuss with him which was nice, because it helped me tweak areas that I didn’t notice needed work.
The beautiful part about sending it to those people, each one found different things for me to work on. Some of it overlapped, but for the most part everyone’s notes varied.
The trick to getting people to read it for me was sending it to people who wanted to read it. Offering it up to random friends and saying ‘check this out’ was about as effective as trying to start a lawn mower with my mind (that’s another story for another time). Sending it to people I knew, and talking to them about it, gave THEM motivation to read it (my writing also probably helped) and motivation for ME to follow along and make corrections.
So I guess what I’m saying is, you can have 10 semi-interested friends who say “I love the first part, it grabbed my attention and was great, I’m sure I’ll read the rest later” or you can have two very interested friends say “I read it cover to cover. I loved the story.”
I wrote about half of this last night, then finished it up this morning. Hope you all enjoyed my half-assed ending.

Edits and why I loathe them.

2008-07-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

Editing my writing for me is like smacking around an infant or a stupid person, I dont like doing it, but I will if I have to.
But the key to this is that I'm the infant and or stupid person.
I rarely know what I was thinking when I wrote something (whats worse is I rarely know what I'm thinking most of the time) which leads to big problems down the line. I tend to think that I was drunk when I wrote the bulk of the first version of 'Fallen' but now I realize I was just young (infant).
Now I'll go back through things I wrote months ago and realize I must have been very stupid for writing what I did (blogging included), I mean why would Vaughn want to start an Emu farm? What makes sense in the moment and doesnt make sense months later, wont make sense to the reader in the least.
Not all of my work is completely senseless. I can go pages without hating something from the story, every line flows just right, every scathing remark is accounted for and every emotion is clear to me.
The problem for me, is that I know this story from front to back. The problem is that my stupid fingers are slow to putting it on the page. I've honestly thought of going old school (VERY old school) and just reciting the story, cutting it to the most basic of elements and basically do a performance art kind of deal. Probably wont happen, because I mutter (among other reasons), but at least I'm thinking.
I've even debated reading it out loud and making it a podcast, but then I'd have to start worrying about copyright things, and my ego and how bruised it would be from just having my one listener.
Knowing the story is good for edits, knowing the emotions that people are supposed to feel help with edits. But my love for commas and utter disdain for semicolons makes edits twice as hard.
But what does any of this have to do with anything?
Last year when I did my last round-o-edits, I may or may not have skipped the last 7-10-15 pages of my book. Over a month or so ago I took the final 40 pages of my book and looked it over. A few word changes here or there (infant mistakes), a long page long reedit of a speech/discussion that just didnt seem to fit for me, and all was well, until i picked it up again today and did the final 20 pages. Now, after about 4 hours later, I have finished what I started last year.
Some pages it was 5 minutes, others it was a complete rehaul. In the end, my story is now 2 pages longer than it was, and the ending a bit more real.
But, even though I loathe edits, I realize WHY I have to do them: Because I love my book and want to share it with anyone who is willing to read it.

Writers Retreat

2008-06-28T19:23:00.001-07:00

I scrapped about three blogs before I started pounding the keys on this one, heres hoping it lasts until the end of the page, otherwise I’m out of ideas.
I’m going on a writers retreat this week. I’m going to try to recapture the sense of what it was like when I was writing in my living room over the summer. I’m going to lock myself up for maybe 2 nights and 3 days (depending on check out time) and just get to work!
Its exciting and scary at the same time, because its going to be all up to me to do this, no one else. I wont have someone in the wings saying ‘do it’ just little ol’ me saying ‘keep going, you got this’
But it should be fun.
Not as fun as the Writers Group Retreat, which is currently in the works. We should have a biggish group going (4-6) and with some luck, lots of discussion and debate over various topics ranging from outlining to character development.
I’ll keep you informed, my loyal reader, on my progress. With some elbow grease and luck, I’ll have reedited the book once more, this time it will be more to my satisfaction.

Things that get in my way or I know why the caged bird wishes he lived in the woods as a hermit

2008-06-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Last summer I believe was the height of my productivity, Fallen wise. I went from about 180 pages of shoddy writing, started around page 50 or 60 and turned it into 214 pages, (170 or so of it really good.

Up until 4-5 am, raiding in WoW done around midnight, girlfriend off the phone by about 1 or 2, I had anywhere from 3-4 hours a day of uninterrupted writing. I remember fondly sitting at my computer one night with Insomniac on Comedy Central playing behind me, and just hitting the stride of writing, just getting it done, pounding the keys with a purpose and proving to myself I could write stuff when I wanted to.

I did this for weeks, sometimes editing 10 pages, sometimes only one page.

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, the loneliness or the fact I wanted to just get it done. Being in the chair and writing with my cats sleeping in the rocking chairs, Goliath in the wooden, Tiger in Great-Great Grandma’s chair, it was a great experience.

Which clearly means I should be a hermit. I’d be away from the distractions. I’d be lonely and sleep deprived and, with late night cable in the background and a good chair, I imagine I could grease out another edit of Fallen in no time.

I’ve actually been considering using my vacation time this year for something like that, vacation from work to write.

I got off track there, but I guess the main point of this blog is that there are lots of distractions when it comes to writing (blogs too! so many tangents!). Some find the perfect writing space to be a room with just gentle music flowing from the computer speakers. No distractions at all. Some enjoy busy areas, coffee shops and busy areas, letting you people watch and chat it up while you hit the keys. Lots of distractions.

But give me the empty house, two cats wanting me to throw them kibble at 3 am, late night cable on the tv behind me, and the story wide open in front of me.

The progression of me

2008-06-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

Doom Zone was one of the first signs that I wanted to be an author. Shoddily written, heavy in dialogue and sparse in action, it was something I loved. Something that I threw myself into, created sequels and revising several times.

It was the first book I wrote, followed shortly by the revised Doom Zone that I wrote in the 4^th grade, then my 5^th grade effort whose name eludes me, but it is on my Mom’s giant bookcase in the living room. Untouched for many years, not because it sucks, but because its from 5^th grade and lets face it, the writing was horrible.

I still remember sitting in the 3^rd grade writing the scene after the main character fell into the quicksand at the end of the tunnel, which allowed the rest of the people to escape (maybe he distracted them, I’m not certain). I remember him sliding through the quicksand into a bar, where he met up with some character and became Han Solo. I am sure I had just watched Empire Strikes Back that weekend, which was a big influence in my writing that day.

However, the story itself taught me to write. It taught me to give my characters meaning and purpose, because having them in the jungle in a hummer because they were ordered to was not enough in the 4^th grade (passed for a great story in the 3^rd, fucking standards >_>). So I developed it into more, gave the people reasons for their actions, cut out the sequel with the bar under the quicksand and left it with just the main character dying and the hummer driving away, only a couple survivors.

Sadly, that is about it, I do not remember much else about the story, only that it was my first attempt at such a story, and it was successful enough to get me a good grade and a few fans in the 4^th grade.

Obviously, it takes a lot more work now for me to write a story, the 7-8 shorthand pages that made up Doom Zone now would be mere notes to accompany the story that I’m pounding the keys to create.

But Doom Zone was the first story I was able to write. It certainly was not the last. There have been failed books since that time and Fallen, I had created two novels between the 8^th grade and 9^th grade, both of which are no longer in this world and I want to keep it that way.

All of these things paved the way to my sophomore/junior year attempts at outlining the groundwork to the Rise of Vaughn series, which takes place before the Battle of the Heavens series.

Those Rise of Vaughn stories have yet to find their home on the page, but three are outlined. I believe I am going to create a group of short stories in their stead, to help me build a fan base via magazines and the internets.

Once those are complete, the Battle of the Heavens will find its place in two books, with more books in the series. Overall, this entire collection could span nine books.

To think, it all started with a page long story by a third grader.

Fallen Cover

2008-06-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

Thats the cover of my book. As drawn by my Uncle Wayne. Lemme know what you think.

The trouble with getting published

2008-06-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big 'short story' kind of guy. I've tried my hand at it before with my first actual story 'Doom Zone' which was a tale from the 2nd grade or so that consisted of a group of assorted people who went into the jungle and explored a cave that was inhabited and killed off some of them and the main character killed himself off to save the others.
But 'Doom Zone' is a blog for another time.
I'm trying to work on my space story, which has the most original name...'Space Story' (ohhh yeah) and its progressing very well. But my problem is I cant get my brain to function and make it just a short story, but now its slowly developing into a series of short stories, hell, why stop there? Lets make a novel of it!
Even my short story 'Godless' which pertains to the godless lands in the 'Fallen' series has hit a road bump, I dont know what I want the main character to do. I know what he does, but just up to a point. The dick isnt willing to help me out and finish the story.
The reason I bring this up is because I want to get published, and usually people start off with a short story submission, followed by several others. One idea I had would be to turn the first story about Vaughn, his birth, into a short story and then detail the fight that leads him into his enemies hands. Not bad, would help me as an author explore the earlier Dark Knights as well as the parents of the hero.
But then again, why stop with the space story? Its good, has a lot of energy and I can break it up into parts between 12-15 pages apiece for a while.
We will see. I'll keep you up to date.

Also, I'm thinking of busting out a new feature on my blog (with my all my one reader). Let me know what you think of....
Next time on Calamitus Ink: Doom Zone and why it failed me as an author (hint: it didnt)

The loss of friends

2008-06-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

I think the entirety of all my stories, be them short or epic, have loss in them.
In Fallen Vaughn lost his people, then even his adopted peoples while Sarant lost Vaughn.
In my apocalyptic story, people are lost because of the virus, or at the hands of pillagers or the night walkers.
In the space story I've been cranking out, they lost Earth and the numerous colonies. Its zany.
I think loss plays a big part in these stories because it gives motivation, even if its just brief. Vaughn gets motivated to seek revenge, which he gets. Sarant gets motivated to get her life back in order, and she does. The virus causes people to become united against the night walkers, causing Cal to discard his womanizing and self serving ways and help those around him. In space, the annihilation of Earth motivates everyone to drink and decide where to go next.

Death and loss play a role not only in motivating the characters, but in solving those pesky extra characters. Numerous times I'll just kill someone off because they had a significant part in the story and needed more closure than 'they left the castle and lived by a lake in the woods'. And be honest, you remember when someone gets decapitated more than someone who left the town to raise chickens.

Death also doesnt have to mean the end of someone. In 'Battle' Vaughn gets talked about throughout the entire book, because the love people held for him and the things he accomplished. In the space tale they never forget the family that could have been killed or is out in space never to be seen again on some cargo ship.

I dont know why I wrote this blog, I'll hopefully have something a little better to post later on in the week. Maybe I'll treat my reader to a REAL blog, or a taste of some of my new stuff.

In response

2008-06-02T14:56:00.001-07:00

This here is in response to a little post David wrote up.
First off let me say...
What a load of soot (in retort to his starting comment about me).
I love creating back story. I have notes upon notes in my inbox explaining numerous characters and their lives, where they lived what they did and how often they did it.
Personally, I don't often infuse my back story into the story as much as I should. I'm not a details kind of guy.

Besides, after reading a large fight scene, I find it relaxing and even soothing to a point to describe the resting and relaxation that take place afterwards. The blood can sometimes get so boiled up during a fight scene (I get riled up sometimes, I'll admit) that its nice to have a scene or two where you spend away from the violence that just occurred, covering history or describing the hut where they sought refuge.
Yeah, I could have just told David this in person, but I wanted to give him some linkage to double his reader base. Since, you know, my blog is blowing up in the numbers department.
By the way, thanks to my one reader. Make sure you comment, so you can show your friends and say "I'm the person he keeps referring to in his blog posts."
Then face the ridicule of being famous on an unpublished writers blog.

Getting old 20+ years so the story goes.

2008-05-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

I emptied out my wallet a while ago and uncovered a rare artifact from high school that I still have (where DID that diploma go >_>). Its a folded up index card with a bunch of my scribbled words on it. A normal human may struggle to read it, but thanks to my awesomeness I'm able to decipher the 6 year old lettering.
I gotta say I thought highly of myself back then.
I'm not going to give you the list of all my goals and explain how far from completing them I am. Instead I'm going to outline a nice little year plan for myself.
I'm debating a slogan as well, '22 is the year of you' is the only one that isn't laced with expletives.
Goals for year 22 of my life-
Get published.

Thats the main goal. The only goal. Obviously I'd love to go to Australia or chill with Paul on his 21st birthday. Climb Everest. Travel back in time and hunt dinosaurs. Eat 2 cheesecakes and not gain a pound.
Those things could happen. But the only goal I care about right now, other than occasionally updating my reader (you know who you are) with my writing exploits, is to get published.
Oh, and listen to the Who more often.

Why I write

2008-05-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

I often sit alone in my room rereading older efforts of mine, grinning a bit at my older attempts at writing. I'm still far from perfect, in fact I do think that it will take me another 10-15 years before I can even claim to be a master of the craft.
But I'm not writing to be a master of the craft.
I'm not writing to be a millionaire (a good wage would suit me just fine).
I'm not writing to pick up chicks (an extra in a cable tv show has a better pick up line than an author).
I'm writing because its my purpose.
Its kind of odd for me to read that, despite my writing it. I'm not saying that I'm such a bad writer I can't read my own writing, but its a challenge because I've felt its my purpose for the last few years, but only took it seriously the last two or so.
I feel most people are on this large swirling orb are here for a reason. I feel this is mine. I don't know how many other people can say that about what they are doing in their lives.
Some people are given the choice of following their dreams and do. Some are successful at it, most aren't. I'd like to fall into the latter of the two, but I think only hard work and having friends in the right places will help me achieve that. Neither of which I have a great amount of, at this moment.
But I have a purpose. And sometimes thats all you have, but more than enough of what you need.

Kate

2008-05-20T15:27:00.001-07:00

Kate is my new coworker and fellow Tuesday Nighter.
She says I dont blog as extensively as Jen.
Anyone agree?

Finding that groove

2008-05-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

Like Homer after the 'carnival folk' sat in his ass groove, I too have to get my groove back. My writing as of late has consisted of a new story with the theme of the world is not quite over, but in the starting throes (word of the day!).
Now though, the problem with the 'Dreams' is that the story is moving along nicely and making me distract myself from the focus on 'Battle'. Of course when I do write about battle, I find a groove and am able to stick with it for the duration. Course, once out of that groove, it becomes a lot harder to get back into it.
Battle of the Heavens is of course my main story, but the focus has been on 'Dreams' as of late. The story for 'Dreams' is a lot shorter and therefore a bit easier for me to get on paper. Also, the little notes I write for myself (see below) are able to be put into use a little differently than my page or two long notes about 'Battle'

Police dont really seem to care about the violence, the curfew that was put into effect is not working very well because most police are too afraid to defend the streets, however armored cars patrol, occasionally, but gas is expensive.

So my problem isnt really 'Dreams' its just that I'm unable to get back into the groove of Battle of the Heavens. But I should be back in the ass groove before you know it.

HAIL BELNAR

2008-05-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

I think goals are important. Setting goals and follwing them is one of the most important things about being a writer. Setting deadlines and meeting them is a huge part of it, or so I've been told. Setting goals is something I say but dont do.
Deadlines for me are rolling, as in they roll from one place to another. Sometimes I hit a dryspell and wont write at all for a week, other times I'll put down 20 pages. Deadlines are just another way of me setting a goal and forgetting it-like a Ronco cooker.
I think the main goal I have at the moment is getting published. Just getting my work out there, be it in magazines or in book form or even ebook form. I'm proud as hell of my writing and my ideas, I honestly feel that I have an amazing story andit will one day be respected as that, a great story (not for the writing).
My dream however is to open up a writers workshop in the country. A place where writers can get together and discuss their works, focus just on writing and interacting with other writers. Ive found that my best work can come after working around other people and sharing my ideas. I dont have much information other than we would meet in the morning for breakfast, work all day on writign or editting or walking the grounds for inspiration, then meeting again at dinner to talk about what we did. Obviously we wont all be writing every minute of every day, because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Just a silly dream of mine, it probably wont happen. I want it to happen. I want to be able to write and interact with other writers on a frequent basis, and allow fellow writers to do the same.
But before dreams can happen, goals have to be met.

Inspired writings

2008-05-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

Jen wrote a bit ago about inspiration for her writing and how she gets it. After reading it and scoffing at her for stealing something I wanted to do, I decided maybe I should do it instead of just thinking about doing it.

The other night I had a crazy dream that I can only describe as 'awe inspiring'. I wont bore you with the details, but it was rather kick ass.

And I realized that my inspiration can be drawn from numerous sources, but honestly my strongest source of inspiration comes from just hearing a song or watching a clip of something similar to what I'm writing.

Take last summer for example, I spent a fair amount of time playing WoW, but from the hours of 2-5 am it was writing time. Sometimes the hours would vary, but usually once or twice a week I would be up til 5 writing.

The reason I was able to sustain those maddening hours was the music that inspired the writing. While reworking the scenes between Emily, Sarant and Vaughn I listened to music about love triangles and the like. It was cheesy as hell and I dont care much for the music, but the ideas through the song helped me formulate the scenes.

Action packed movies usually inspire me to write fight scenes, in fact one of my favorite fight scenes from my book I wrote after watching some anime in an AMV.

My inspiration can also come from my dreams. I wrote a 15 page short story a couple years back based on a dream I had. I've been outlining it for a while and if I ever get to it, can probably turn it into a little novella. The dream from the other night has inspired me to write another short story, because despite the material I've gathered on it, I do not plan on dragging it out. I have the perfect ending, the perfect start. I see no reason to make it less perfect, or as I like to say 'Less Andrew'

Of course the problem with my inspiration is that it can vary greatly. Sometimes I can get 15 pages from a dream or reading a few lines from an epic. Other times the same lines or song can only produce a few paragraphs that arent exactly the bee's knees, or as I like to say 'Not very Andrewsque'. Walks down the road can help me imagine being in a thick forest, surrounded by unknown danger or stepping out onto a raging battlefield. Or just inspire me to think about the smell of cow dung.

I guess that no matter what you do, you should always do what inspires you, even if half the time it is just cow dung.

Hopefully this time I won't gain 25 pounds

2008-05-07T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I hurt my foot again, but this time theres no break. Apparently my walking paid off and all I hurt was tendons or some other crap.
I probably wont gain 25 pounds this time around (I did when I hurt my left foot a year and a half ago).
I'm looking over older things I've written recently, and it still stings that I lost about a books worth of writing when my hard drive crashed years back. Oh well, the things I had backed up have helped me greatly, but considering I had a lot of storylines for battle of the heavens in those lost files it does suck slightly.
But I know this story, so I'm working hard on patching up the holes and making newer story lines.
I'm trying to go more in order right now, make sure I dont wind up leaving gaps of space. Around my birthday I should get it printed up and see what I've got.
More later, because I know you readers of mine are just going crazy for more postage.

Of the Fallen

2008-04-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

Bah. Nothing like looking over old work to realize how bad it is. My characters seem to lack good conversations, with it running hot and cold with every other paragraph. More stuff to edits...yay.

But the story for Battle is progressing, very well. With the main points highlighted and outlined the smaller things are slowly getting filled in between. It is quite fulfilling to see the story moving forward, because the last few days it has been quite stagnant.

I've been lazy and not editing or writing as much as I would have liked, so this week I'm going to make a push to get the next section of Battle done so that I can present it to the writers group on friday.

Honestly writers group has been fun, but I wouldnt mind if the focus went more towards story and development. As much as I love hearing that I use comma's too much, or repeat phrases too often, it would be nice to know if the story is progressing well or that it flows smoothly. Obviously I appreciate the comma use and repeated phrases information, but usually I can catch some of it during my first round of edits. So I guess I should get my stuff finished so I can go back for a round of edits before I send it off.

Once thats done, I will finish editing the end of Fallen (which is taking forever), then I'll work on the beginning interactions between Vaughn and Sarant.

Why Miley Cyrus has long been a thorn in my side...

2008-04-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

Like a bunch of 12 year old girls and a bunch of pedophiles are going to buy it...
http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/45612992

7 fucking figures. On top of her horrible, although addictive, CD.

I'm going to eat a few ice cream bars and cry myself to sleep over this.

Manual Injection

2008-04-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

Boosh.
Slowly figuring out the storyline for Goe, and he is slowly growing into the character I wanted him to be. His story wont end in Battle,
The story has been getting better and stronger with every passing page and storyline. The major moments have been plotted, now all thats needed is the MINOR POINTS. Capslock.
With a little luck I'll have gotten the
I should be editing right now, but I'm in the mood to listen to my new Flight of the Concords CD. Yeah, its a good CD.

I'll probably blog a bit tonight at work. Because work is dull.

Tor/Forge

2008-04-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

They passed. Back to edits so I can send it on to some other team that will reply with a poorly photocopied rejection letter.

Editing is a hard thing to do

2008-04-15T11:53:00.001-07:00

Sigh.
I've been looking over the last 35 pages of my book and have gotten about 20ish done. Its a beeyotch. There are few changes, just some minor paragraph alterations.
Oddly enough I'm struggling to change the last parts of the book. The scenes where Vaughn goes after Duken took so long to create and perfect, I feel like going over them again would be a challenge unlike anyother. But maybe things need to change, little details need to be mentioned or enlarged.
Mayhaps.
But the edits must be redone, I have numerous chapters printed awaiting for me to hunker down and work on them.
All the while I'm expanding on the space tale I've been working on. yay

Mayhaps

2008-04-12T23:12:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about posting some of my writerings up here, my writerings consist of short segments that either are very random to the untrained person (untrained meaning not Andrew) or just a tidbit of my book or part of a future one.
I'm also debating tossing some other writing up here, in case my fan(s) that check here hourly want something to reread while I wait to post.
Maybe random story ideas as well. I think that would work.
My uncle sent me the cover for my book, its awesome. I'll have to share it with you guys sometime.

The self publishing question

2008-04-10T15:50:00.000-07:00

To self publish or not to self publish. The question that has been haunting me the past, oh, couple months.
I'm considering the fact that the liscense will be under some other publishers name for 3 years, not that I'm seriously worried that that will bite me in the ass, but who knows where Fallen could go in 3 years.
Also the money, most places offer only 15-20%, wheres if you go through lulu or something similar you pay about a grand and walk away with 80-90% of the royalties.
I think that even SELF publishing (pay for the prints and everything) would cost well over 4 grand. I could easily cover that, but I'm not sure that would be the wisest thing to do though. We will just have to wait until Tor Forge says no, DAW passes and whomever else I decide to send it to declines. Then, perhaps faced with the unbearable feeling that it will not ever be published, I'd be inclined to do it myself.
To quote the start of 'Command and Conquer: Red Alert'
"Time will tell. Time will tell."

First Blog

2008-04-09T20:13:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
This is going to be a blog about my writing of various stories and the like. Not much to say because I haven't done much writing.
Odds are this is going to be random but I'll try to update frequently.
Just note most posts will be unedited and full of grammatical errors.